I went on my trip not expecting anything other than friendship. But I also needed to sort out affairs of the heart. I needed to know whether my feelings of love were sustainable. I was seeking clarity, and have found clarity. We can only be friends.
I spent 72 hours with one of the most beautiful men ever. At times I couldn’t believe it was happening. I haven’t given myself permission to study the playback in my mind. Some amazing things happened, and I fear if I revel in the memories too much I’ll be prolonging the love that I need to let go of. I’m not ready to cry. It is hard not to love someone when they’ve asked you not to.
Currently I feel a bit sad and empty, and miss him, but feel so proud I took the risk and came to know him better. And to know myself better.
I used to have strong beliefs about love. My beliefs have shifted.
I discovered that you can’t love everything about someone, and that’s ok. You’ve just got to hold onto the ways they make you happy and feel loved.