“I am famous for my generosity
They say I am the kindest
But it is easier to
Give than receive love”~ Darkness,Darren Hayes“You’ve moved on
I still feel exactly the same…I shouldn’t be holding on
But I’m still holding on for you”
~ The Lover After Me, Savage Garden
I wrote most of this on Tuesday. I still feel the same. Maybe worse. I wish I didn’t feel so much. I wish I didn’t love so much. So much sadness. So many tears. Violent crying. I don’t do things to receive return gestures. I wish nothing but happiness. But I wish I could make him happy. I am so angry at myself. And then I go get all fucking Tumblr/Darren Hayes lyric, and realise I might be feeling just like every other emo teen half my age. I am never more dramatic than when my heart is in pain. I have been drinking on an empty stomach. Blogging under the influence.
There probably was. But I didn’t see. I was too worried if he was ok. Rather than worrying if I was ok. And I’m not. Not ok. I hate being so invested in this.