“Make me feel like I’m the one who moves you,
The only one you see”
~ Fans – Kings of Leon
“I enjoy reading your blog Carly… But this is an interesting read. I know you find comfort in Darren’s lyrics and music however I feel that you are in a little too deep here… I feel that you are slightly obsessive and almost ‘drowning’ in what he gives to you. The fact that he is a gay man makes this ‘relationship’ you feel you have with him even more uncomfortable to read at times :)”
After a number of people went in to bat for me (thank you everyone) the anonymous reader replied:
“I’m quite happy to read your opinions on my original post and please let me clarify that I was not alluding to the fact that Carly’s love for Darren can not be reciprocated in a traditional sense. I perfectly and honestly respect the love you have for him as a musician… I too believe that he is freakishly talented and I enjoy his lyrics too. My concern and question stems from the fact that Carly has obviously had heartbreak, distress and upheaval relating to her personal relationships and she is very open in discussing this. My post came from a place of concern for her emotional well-being. l just think the level of adoration she has for Darren is somewhat concerning… Gay or not gay has nothing to do with it. I’m only posting anon as I don’t have any other sign ins.”
I also replied to the comments, ending with:
“Let me have this happiness without criticism or condescension. Maybe one day you’ll experience the joys of being a fan too.”
While I wasn’t upset by the comments made, I was disappointed that I was criticised for taking joy in meeting my idol and expressing how much he and his music means to me, after having such a shit time recently. Last week was truly the start of me getting back on track and feeling like the old Carly again.And that feels great.
And today I want to tell you about the joy I get from being a fan. Of Savage Garden and Darren Hayes more specifically. Laugh. Diagnose me with some sort of obsession. But also take the time to realise how the music moves me. It really does. And music and fanship moves other people too. I’ve got some friends’ comments about being a fan too. Here goes.
People laugh at me, and are also critical. Even I take the piss out of this particular love of mine sometimes. But I am a proud, dedicated and committed fan. Why am I a fan? And why Savage Garden and Darren Hayes?
The thrill of being a fan is what brings joy too. The race to stand at the front of the stage (and the standing that often accompanies it). The breath held as he walks out on stage. The rush through my veins as he sings live. The special moments when he’s looked at me during a concert – and the kisses and hugs he’s given me from the stage. And the wait outside the venue, hoping to meet him. And when the meet happens – wow. The shaking and immense happiness afterward.
Darren Hayes is a fan too. He’s spoke at length about being a fan of Michael Jackson (and was very affected by his death – to the point of writing Glorious about Michael), Bono and Madonna. He has mentioned the excitement when he’s met his idols, and his experience seems very similar to mine.
“I am a fan of Josh Pyke. Haha. I love his music more than any other and it satisfies me in some way I cannot define.
It was like it was familiar to me even before I had ever heard it. A big part of it is that it provides me with an escape from the mundane and his voice & lyrics comfort me. I know that would probably sound ridiculous to a non fan.
He has songs that suit my best and worst days. Seeing him live is the ultimate and the times I have met him are like treasures I carry in my heart. I know it’s soppy but if I can’t say it here where can I?
I also like the thrill of the hunt in finding him after a show and talking to him, it is never easy. I am very shy and it takes a lot for me to approach him but I do it as the rewards are great.
If I didn’t find him to be as warm and sweet as I have done, he wouldn’t be quite as special to me as he is.
I certainly don’t think I am lacking anything in my life. My love for Josh is just an added extra.
Social media has had a big impact (mainly Twitter for me) as it has provided me with direct contact with him.
I could really relate to your latest Darren story as last time I met Josh he held out both his arms to me and pulled me in close and cuddled me. It was one of the best moments of my life. You have to be a fan to understand the thrill of that. It has nothing to do with him being ‘known’. It is just him. Sorry if I sould completely mad, just had to get it out!”
Dane, a guy I work with, loves musicals.
“I’ve had people comment that I’m crazy for seeing musicals all the time. If someone finds solace, comfort or escapism in someone’s art, talent or interactions – no matter how deeply they feel it – it shouldn’t be denied”.
“You will not be surprised to hear that I am a Bob Evans fan. I became a groupie at the ripe old age of 35! His music simply makes my life better. I can’t explain it and people think I’m nutso but I don’t care. There is just something about his music that satisfies my soul. I enjoy being enthusiastic and passionate about something so joyful. And my friends get pleasure and amusement from my joy. I had an amazing response of support (both financial and emotional) when I bid for Bob in the EMI auction. And because of them I won! In 15 days he will be in my house…And as an added bonus, through my fandom I have met some gorgeous fellow fans on-line including your lovely self.”
“For me, I grew up with Australian and New Zealand Rock, I really love the songwriting of Richard Clapton and Tim Finn. To me they represent a time when I was a young tacker growing up in the late 70’s into the 80’s so add in there Split Enz. Noel Crombie from the band also designed and sewed their costumes, creativity like that I regard highly.
I also really love the late 70’s to early 80’s underground British music – Simple Minds and anything experimental. Also punk but more The Clash style than Sex Pistols.
Moving into the 90’s, I took a liking to a band from Sydney called ‘The Clouds’, Jodi Phillis and Patricia Young were a great songwriting combination and they played my hometown of Hobart on Hobart’s second warmest day recorded at 40.8 degrees in December 1994.
Also Nirvana, I loved the fact that they totally transformed the music scene in 6 months then moving onto ‘Foo Fighters’. I probably don’t say I’m a fan of anyone too much but Dave Grohl for me is a total legend!”
And I think this is something that sums it all up for me. Tim, from the Stibbard-Me-Timbers Radio Show said:
“David Francey, he’s a true folk singer and very creative, he worked in construction for years then developed a career in music. Sings about working class, poverty, cause he has been there and done it. His songs have timeless youngness about them. I can kind of relate or at least dream that I can inspire somebody in the same way, I think that what makes you like someone. If they write the song you feel you should’ve written or want to sing”.
I feel exactly that about Darren Hayes. He writes the songs I feel I should have written or want to sing. Especially this song. The Siren’s Call. I recorded it in Sydney.