Next week I have the honour of seeing Roxette in concert and meeting them too! I was lucky enough to win tickets on Mix FM – so glad I made the switch to listen to Chrissie and Jane – not only a great show but awesome prizes! I’ve loved Roxette since I was a kid, so it’s really nice to get the opportunity to see them live. I had Look Sharp on cassette and sang along to every word.

I was thinking how Roxette has really shaped two of the biggest relationships in my life to date. And I am a bit worried about how the music will play with my emotions.

Halfway through my first year at uni, I was sitting in the computer lab, doing an assignment between classes – probably the god-awful statistics that I only just scraped through – when a girl next to me Would. Not. Shut. Up. She talked loud and fast. A bit like me really. She rabbited on about cricketer Steve Waugh and I turned to her to tell her I had Steve Waugh’s diary because I was once in love with Shane Warne. “Oh my god” she squealed, and from that moment on, we couldn’t stop talking. As loudly and as quickly as each other. We. Would. Not. Shut. Up. I am sure the others in the computer lab were as annoyed at our level of noise as I initially was about hers.

So after we discussed Steve Waugh’s diary, she asked me if I’d like to go back to her house. I said yes, and she drove me back. I met her housemates. We ate lunch. And then we decided to play some music. She put on Roxette’s Don’t Bore Us Get to the Chorus. And I squealed. We were both Roxette fans. I think we sang along and danced around a bit. And I remember Roxette as the band that was playing when I met one of my best friends Amber. We’ve been friends for 12 years now – giggling and drinking and talking loudly through the years. We’ve supported each other during some tough times. We chat to each other at work most days now, and we try to catch up as much as we can. I love being able to pick up where we left off.

Here we are last year, having lunch and drinks on the Queen’s Birthday weekend.

The other relationship (or whatever it was) Roxette has shaped was the one with him. We only had a few bands in common, and thank goodness we did or I’d be listening to Megadeth for the duration of my stay. I knew some of their greatest hits, but he introduced me to some of their lesser known songs, which he preferred. Roxette playing when I physically fell for him, sitting in his room, drunk on moscato, the prospect of newness and the thrill of taking such a risk. He played this song, Crash Boom Bang, saying it’s one of his favourites. I liked the ballad. I didn’t take much notice of the lyrics until I lay in his arms, wondering if I could stop myself falling deeper. I realised this song was about this situation that was about to unfold and inevitably fall apart.

“My Papa told me to stay out of trouble
“When you’ve found your man, make sure he’s for real!”.

I’ve learned that nothing really lasts forever
I sleep with the scars I wear that won’t heal
They won’t heal.

Cos every time I seem to fall in love
Crash! Boom! Bang!
I find the heart but then I hit the wall
Crash! Boom! Bang!
That’s the call, that’s the game and the pain stays the same.

I’m walking down this empty road to nowhere
I pass by the houses and blocks I once knew.

My Mama told me not to mess with sorrow
But I always did, and Lord, I still do
I’m still breaking the rules
I kick it up
I kick it down.

Cos every time I seem to fall in love
Crash! Boom! Bang!
I find the heart but then I hit the wall
Crash! Boom! Bang!
That’s my real middle-name
It has always been the same
That’s the call, that’s the game and the pain stays the same.

I still feel the heat
Slowly fallin’ from the sky
And the taste of the kissing
Shattered by rain
Comin’ tumblin’ from behind
And the wild holy war.

I kick it up
I kick it down

And every time I seem to fall in love
Crash! Boom! Bang!
I find the roses dying on the floor
Crash! Boom! Bang!
That’s the tall, that’s the game and the pain stays the same
That’s my real middle-name
It has always been the same.

Oh Yea Oh Yea Oh Yea Uh-huh
Been the same, been the same
It has always been the same.”

The song played on our last night together. It was a nice night, but bittersweet because I knew I probably wouldn’t spend any more time with him after he saw me off at the airport. And as I held him, I drummed my fingers on his skin to the beat of the song, thinking ” Cos every time I seem to fall in love, Crash! Boom! Bang! I find the heart but then I hit the wall…”. I was sad at the pattern, and the inevitable.

One of our last text conversations before he didn’t need me anymore was about Roxette and what fans we both are. I didn’t tell him the real reason the music means a lot to me. 

As I wrote a few weeks ago, I’m doing ok. I think that if they play this song at the concert, it may be difficult. It will be like my last memento. I’ll remember and I’ll tear up and I’ll smile that it happened. And then I might just let go.

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I am hoping to score a little interview for the blog, or at least a photo. Stay tuned!