Carly Findlay

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Fashion I do not understand: the no pants look.

December 2, 2012 Carly Findlay 16 Comments

As the weather gets hotter, the pants get smaller. I was on a tram the other night, it was nearing 40 degrees, and Tash and I were heading to a beachy suburb. I found myself sitting next to a woman who told me ALL her ailments. And then she did a bit of the “those girls are asking for it” commentary about the clothing of some female passengers. I had wished Tash had taken that seat next to me before this excessively talkative woman had. And then I saw what she was referring to. No, I didn’t think these women were “asking for it” – but I did think they had been very economical when they got dressed.

The female passengers wore bikini tops, ovesized singlets and pants that barely covered their arse cheeks. One had miniscule denim shorts on- they’d fit a Barbie doll, the other had bikini bottoms, also riding up her bottom, to hibernate for the summer. The one with bikini bottoms on also wore a life jacket, you know, in case we had to evacuate the tram.

Call me Nanna, call me a little judge-y. Some may call me hypocritical given I’m all about appearance diversity. But I don’t get the no pants/short shorts look. You know, oversized tops worn as dresses, or short shorts like the ones below. Do you?

I feel like some women have forgotten one crucial item of clothing upon getting dressed. I don’t know where to look. I’m not sure whether I’m in the Melbourne CBD or the most matronly dressed in a Mexican beer ad.

Granted, the women’s legs look fantastic when exposed by the no pants/short shorts look. I could never achieve that level of slender with all the sitting I do. And I imagine the landscaping that needs to be done to keep everything tidy is also quite a task. (I’m blessed with hairless everything so if it weren’t for my chub and modesty, I could totally rock the no pants look.)

I did try on some short shorts in New York, but my legs looked like they had increased five sizes. I do own some denim shorts too – and I swear they are the longest denim shorts I’ve ever seen. Are you sitting down? They come down to my mid thigh. The shame!

As a mark of respect to those ladies who don’t wear pants in public, I’m going to spend the afternoon at home not wearing pants either. My undies and an oversized top shall be my only modesty. I guarantee my arse cheeks aren’t quite as perky as the ones above.

So wear what you want, wear what makes you happy and comfortable in. But I still don’t get this trend. A denim wedgie seems uncomfortable.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Georgie says

    December 2, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    Bahaha last time I wrote about this on my blog some girl took offence and started indirectly tweeting about how I was calling these girls ugly… lolwat. The point is, it's just baring too much and it gets very inappropriate when shorts are so short you can see the bottom of your bottom. Ditto skirts. Short shorts are no problem but there really is a point where my boyleg underwear is longer than that.

    As for oversized shirts, my boyfriend thinks they look quite cute on me, but that's just because I'm tiny and sadly, refuse to shop in the child's section so I buy the smallest adult sizes which still fall off my shoulders. I doubt that most girls in that kind of gear have that problem though – to me it's just another silly trend. xD

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  2. Laurel says

    December 2, 2012 at 2:30 pm

    I'm not fussed by what others wear though I do find this trend odd. What annoys me about it is that if you try to buy a pair of shorts (as opposed to denim underwear), the options seem to be the no pants shorts or matronly on the knee! I just want some middle ground! On that basis, where'd you get your mid-thigh shorts? Are they only mid-thigh because you're not very tall (I'm 5'6" so not tall but not short)? Help me!

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  3. Anonymous says

    December 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm

    I saw a 'som-e-card' the other day that said "Call me old-fashioned but I believe your shorts should be longer than your vagina"!!!
    Don't understand the fashion but if I had the legs and a few less km's on the clock – I'd totally be be wearing them!!

    Ash Fell (not Anonymous but didn't know which profile I was supposed to pick!!)

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  4. Carly Findlay says

    December 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    Hey Laurel! Yes! The shirts in stores are either shorty short, or matronly. I got mine from Sussan, they are not matronly, but I am 5 foot 1 so that's why they sit long on me.

    And yes, I think wear what makes you happy, but it's still a trend I do not understand.

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  5. Carly Findlay says

    December 2, 2012 at 2:38 pm

    And shirts should equal shorts.

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  6. Deb says

    December 2, 2012 at 3:25 pm

    A denim wedgie… ouch and a 'front' wedgie – double ouch!

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  7. Tash says

    December 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm

    Ha ha, we had a good laugh about this one last weekend. Genius!

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  8. Laurel says

    December 2, 2012 at 4:29 pm

    Thanks re Sussan; they've really upped their game in the last couple of years.

    I don't understand it either – I have put it in the "WTF" basket with cropped t-shirts, shearling jackets, leggings as pants and ombre everything…

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  9. Mary says

    December 2, 2012 at 4:41 pm

    Perhaps they forget that what is covered is more coveted. Or, maybe that is the point.

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  10. MsMidge says

    December 2, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Being economical! Gold! And I LOVE that e-card!!

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  11. CurlyPops says

    December 2, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    I must admit to owning one pair of short shorts (nowhere near as short as the ones you mean), but they're reserved for wearing inside my house on 40 degree days only! No-one needs to see my thighs in public.

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  12. Kim McDang says

    December 3, 2012 at 12:02 am

    My pet hate with the short shorts look is when the shorts are sooo short that you can actually see the internal part of the pockets stick out at the bottom. Ergh!

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  13. Elizabeth says

    December 3, 2012 at 12:23 am

    I have three pairs of denim shorts and all of them started life as old jeans I bought from the op-shop which I then cut to the size I wanted. I usually cut them a little longer than I want then roll them up to be on the safe side. Definitely not arse cheeks on display from me!

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  14. Chandra the Crazed Quilter says

    December 3, 2012 at 2:50 am

    Wait, those shorts hanging up are for sale? People pay money for those? Also, I thought everyone who's ever burned their ass on a seat heated from the sun would want to keep their ass cheeks covered.

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  15. Squiggly Rainbow says

    December 3, 2012 at 6:51 am

    I agree, a bit short. It's the psychology behind one wearing skimpy clothing that I find interesting! xx

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  16. Lisa @ Blithe Moments says

    December 3, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    My boyfriend LOVES me in things so short that you can see all and it pains him that I refuse to wear those things outside the house, but really, aside from the fact that no one needs to see my cellulite, I'm totally with Chandra, I want my arse protected from hot seats, wicker seats, gross seats – possibly I sit too much!

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