Carly Findlay

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The man who told me he was a rapist – a small update.

January 18, 2013 Carly Findlay 11 Comments

Remember just before Christmas I wrote about the man who told me he was a rapist? Thank you so much for your comments on that post, and particularly the reassurance you gave me about telling the bar staff and calling CrimeStoppers. I have an update on that event. Not huge progress, but an update that I want to share with you.

Last Wednesday I returned to my desk after a meeting to find some missed calls and a text message asking me to call Victoria Police. After being told by CrimeStoppers that it’s doubtful my call would lead to anything, I didn’t expect a follow up on the matter. And so I didn’t expect to get a call from the police – was my unit broken into? Were my parents ok?

I returned the call, reaching the sexual assault centre. A police officer asked me to give a more detailed report of what happened that night – I had to recount what happened, and how I felt. I told her that the incident was only verbal – nothing came of this man’s words, and she told me it was good that I made the initial call, just in case. I told her that while it was probably the alcohol talking, I didn’t want to do nothing. She told me that this information I provided to her will be filed away, and may jog her memory when investigating a future case. She also said she will speak to the pub staff and check out the CCTV footage if it’s available.

After the call, I talked with someone who used to be a police officer dealing in sexual assault – they said it was often these small leads that enabled the perpetrator to be caught.

The call from the police showed me that they do take these matters seriously and do follow up on reports. I didn’t feel silly for reporting this incident that was only made up of a few conversations.

If you experience a situation like I did – or worse – I urge you to report it. You never know the difference that your report could make to someone else’s safety.

My blog post has also been republished on The Peach – I extended the original a little with my reasons for calling CrimeStoppers, and also left a comment about the idea of clothes inviting unwanted attention.

You can read it here.

If you need immediate emergency assistance call 000.

If you want to report suspicious behaviour call CrimeStoppers on 1800 333 000.

If you need to talk to a crisis line call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    January 19, 2013 at 9:43 am

    Who knows how many women you may have helped from experiencing the trauma if ring raped. Good on you Carly.

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  2. Kate B says

    January 19, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    Carly there is actually a nation wide reporting of sexual assaults/threats that people can do anoynmously and the data is cross checked and used to idenitify potential predators. I have used it with clients and I cant for the life of me remember what it is called. I was approached by QLD police in my last job that this reporting system existed but I'll get some more details for you when I ring my old workplace on Monday.
    Kate Bx

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  3. Kate B says

    January 19, 2013 at 3:44 pm

    Found the the page carly and here is the link. I'm prety sure its Australi wide.
    Its called Alternative Reporting Options

    and heres the link with all info including reporting forms etc

    http://www.police.qld.gov.au/programs/adultassault/altReportOpt.htm

    Kate Bx

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  4. Cathy says

    January 19, 2013 at 7:33 pm

    Good on you for having the courage to make that first call. Maybe it was just all talk (even though that in itself is disturbing) but who knows. Your info could indeed be the missing piece to a bigger puzzle.

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  5. Carly Findlay says

    January 19, 2013 at 8:53 pm

    Thank you – I hope I have helped someone – even to the point that this man thinks twice about the words he uses when meeting new women.

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  6. Carly Findlay says

    January 19, 2013 at 8:56 pm

    Thank you so much Kate – I will check out this link. I think the lack of anonymity would be one thing that stops people reporting assaults and suspicious behaviour.
    The Policewoman did tell me that my report will remain confidential. I thought twice about blogging this post, but I chose to leave the descriptors that may identify the place and the man involved.

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  7. Carly Findlay says

    January 19, 2013 at 8:56 pm

    Thanks Cathy. The policewoman asked if I was scared at any stage – I said no, just disturbed at the man's behaviour.

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  8. Laurel says

    January 26, 2013 at 7:22 am

    I was really heartened to read this update. So glad to see the police devoting time and resources to this matter and others like it. Many offenders start out with smaller steps – they do not go from nothing to rape. They may start by making lewd comments or stealing underwear or flashing etc. The more information we have on these patterns of behaviour, the more likely we are to be able to identify perpetrators etc.

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  9. Carly Findlay says

    January 29, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    Thank you Laurel – I was impressed by VicPol for following it up. I'm also glad my blog posts were taken seriously too.

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  10. Robyn says

    February 2, 2013 at 9:30 am

    Lovely to hear your update Carly. Great work.

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  11. Dave Thomas says

    June 16, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    Actually this could be a sort of good reminder or to alarm particularly among the women for the safety purposes. Great work on this update Carly. I see it very helpful.

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The material on Tune into Radio Carly is copyright. The writing in this blog is by Carly Findlay unless otherwise stated. Most photos in this blog are by Carly Findlay unless otherwise stated. Please do not reproduce without permission from Carly Findlay. This blog represents my personal opinions and experiences. It does not reflect those of my employers'. The information I provide about ichthyosis is mostly based on personal experiences. Please seek medical advice or counseling before trying any new treatments I've written about. Where stared, I use affiliate links on this blog. By clicking them, I receive a small percentage of the purchase.

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