Adam and I had lunch with a couple of our friends on the March long weekend. They are adorably in love and will be moving in together soon. One friend, like me, has lived alone for a while. She asked us if there’s any advice we’d have for moving in with her partner. And we did!
It was our one year anniversary of getting engaged on Wednesday, so this post is so timely!
1) Make sure you can get a water tank that gives you enough hot water, or coordinate so no one has a cold shower. My water tank is really small, so we have to leave at least 30 minutes between showers. For a long time Adam was braving a partially cold shower. But when I had a shower 15 minutes after him one day, I asked why the water went cold and he let it slip that this happens to him too if I have the first shower (and I have a long, hot one!). In the week, he gets up at 6.00 am and I shower at 7.00 am and this gives us plenty of hot water each.
2( Draw up a roster for housework. It doesn’t have to be formal – it can just be a routine that if one of you cooks, the other does the dishes.
3) Do chores straight away (and together to halve the time). I admit I’m not so great at this – especially folding washing – but I have learnt that if I do this straight away, it gives me more time to do the things I want to do without feeling guilty.
4) Split the money stuff in the way you can afford it. Adam and I split the bills and rent 50/50, but sometimes he buys more groceries than me, and I buy dinners out (or vice versa), and I know that if the time came to move, I’d be ok covering most of the rent if he covers bills.
5) Start a savings fund for the two of you. You could choose to pool all of your money (which we haven’t), but I do suggest you start joint savings fund. We are saving for a wedding and a honeymoon and so we opened up a high interest account (I wish we’d set this up earlier!), but you might like to save for a holiday or a house or emergencies. We will continue to save after the wedding too.
5) Cook together. Because food is love. I love cooking with Adam – making pizzas on a Saturday night is one of my favourite things to do. It is fun, we’ve learnt new skills (he’s great at making the dough!) and then we have a yummy home cooked meal.
7) Have screen-free time. Adam will tell you I spend WAY too much time in front of the screen. But turning off the screen allows time for talking, laughing and togetherness. And hugs are better when you’re looking at each other not looking at Facebook. Maybe I should follow Smaggle’s lead of 9.00 pmscreen-free time.
8) Go on a date once a week/fortnight/whatever you can afford. Our dates usually involve food, mostly brunch and dumplings. But we’ve recently been to Cirque Du Soleil and Thriller.
9) Keep the romance alive. I wear pyjamas almost all the time when I am home (what of it? I like being comfortable!) and Adam’s seen me pull my stocking from my bloody, weepy leg and stick cotton buds up my nose. So there are no secrets. But it’s nice to keep the romance going like when we first met. I write him cards and make sure I dress up when I go out. He fixes things, and that is very romantic and useful!
10) Make time to be alone for a few hours each week. I love it when Adam goes to cubs because it means I can spend time writing, playing music and enjoying my own company. And he loves it because he gets to be a leader and do fun, outdoorsy things.