I tend to fall in a heap after a big, exciting event. As a child, I’d have my birthday or go on an excursion to the zoo and then spend a week in bed because my skin was so sore.
So it was inevitable that I’d be sick after our wedding. I was sore prior to my wedding, actually – on the day of my wedding I had a salt and oil shower and requested a chair for the ceremony as I didn’t feel up to standing for a prolonged period. Adam had a chair too – so we were well balanced on stage.
I could feel a cold coming on the Friday before the wedding, so I dosed myself up with vitamin C, brandy, lemon and honey and pho. Miraculously it held off on the big day, but resurged with force the day after. And then my skin worsened.
I described the skin pain level as 90 late last week. Hospital stage. I went to an event on Thursday night, and while it was fun, the hugs were painful. Friday was spent in bed, with Adam making me breakfast and letting me sleep. I was determined to go on our minimoon – a weekend away to country Victoria, and we did.
I packed lounging pyjamas, a blankie for the car, painkillers, antibiotics, salt and oil for the bath, and the optimism that the weekend would be restful, not racing.
And it was. We had brunches and dinners out, short wanders through shops and the highlight – seeing the penguin parade. We gazed at each other, amazed that we’re now married. He looked after me well. In sickness and in health, right?!
I booked beautiful, homely and luxurious accommodation – perfect for resting. I spent much of the weekend in bed or in the spa bath. We watched TV and aTe cheese and enjoyed a tipple. I read a book. I left feeling feeling well rested, but still a little sore.
I was upset that this trip away wasn’t full of romance and site seeing and had a bit of a cry. I hated the thought that Adam might have gone from a husband to a carer in a week. While I’m very self sufficient, my pain meant there was a limit to what I could do. I encouraged Adam to see the sites without me. I didn’t want to be a burden.
I had read how many carers and parents felt their Easter weekend was spoilt because of their disabled relatives’ needs. Even when these comments aren’t directly about us, they hurt. Because they perpetuate the idea that disabled people are burdens and embarrassing and restrict the lives of those who care for them. I didn’t want to contribute to the “unfair” easter toll of a dependent with a disability letting their needs get in the way of the family’s good time.
My beautiful husband didn’t take to the Internet to complain that my pain ruined his weekend, but actually wrote a loving Facebook message about how amazing our accommodation was, that I am sore but it’s nice to spend time with me doing nothing. It was so uplifting and reassured me he had a good time and I’m not a burden.
“Carly Findlay and I are on our minimoon in Phillip Island, Carly has booked an amazing hotel with an amazing view. She has been quite sore this weekend, she is sad that she hasn’t made it as fun as she would have liked, but just soending time away with her in this lovely hotel is lovely.
I do hope she feels better soon, but for now she just need some rest before we head out to see the penguins tonight.
Love you so much Carly and love the time we have together.”
What a loving, tender start to married life.