When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you think disability is below me.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you don’t think I’m disabled like “them”.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you’re not comfortable with disability.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, and you’re trying to focus on all my other traits, that’s ok, but please don’t forget it’s as much as part of me as my brown hair, sense of humour, sexuality, and my passion for food.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you don’t realise your good intentions can still be harmful.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you often use disabled slurs and think it’s ok to do this.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you don’t see that you and I have different experiences of disability.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, I see your perceptions are shaped by inspiration porn and negative stereotypes.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you forget I have specifc needs to ensure I’m comfortable.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, I feel you’re in denial.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you believe disability is a tragedy.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, my type of disability doesn’t fit into your narrow box.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you regard disability as a slur.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, it is silencing.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you don’t acknowledge the richness of disability culture.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you don’t see that I am unapologetically proud of my disablity.
When you say “I don’t see your disability” and avoid describing my face as red, you think I’m not comfortable with the reality of my appearance.
When you put “disability” in speech marks, or make air quotes when referring to mine, you are silently adding “so called” to it.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you have an attitude similar to colour blindness. Just like colour blindness is racist, not seeing disability is ableist.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you are diminishing my experiences of pride, community, pain and discrimination.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you don’t see the whole me.
When you say “I don’t see your disability”, you erase my identity.
I don’t want you to use euphemisms when referring to disability. Say the word.
I don’t want you to stare, point, ridicule and ask questions before you’ve said hello, but I don’t mind if you talk about my disability politely after you’ve gotten to know me.
I want you to see my disability as a part of me.
Because, when you say “I don’t see your disability”, you invalidate who I am.
I asked this question on Twitter, and here are some responses.
(Image description: red, curly-haired woman wearing all black, sitting at a table, looking into the mirror.)
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wow such a powerful post! This really speaks to me on so many levels as an advocate and an individual with a disability . This should really be put on a poster, mug and on a tshirt.
Beautifully written.
If you get this twice… I'm sorry!! 🙂
You've put into poignant and elegant words something I've written about on my blog here: https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/2016/03/26/do-you-see-me-with-vision/
Keep on riting!
Thank you! You've put into words something I addressed on my own blog here:
https://blindbeader.wordpress.com/2016/03/26/do-you-see-me-with-vision/
Keep on writing!
I found this post really interesting. I had no idea that that phrase was deemed to be offensive. In the context that I think of it, I don't – what I mean is that, yes, I may "see" physically that you are disabled and acknowledge what goes with it but feel the common thread of our humanity, disabled or not.
I agree. When i've used this term, i've used it in the context that yes, i *see* your disability, and will always do everything in my power to make you comfortable and happy (however that looks) when you spend time with me, but to me, your friend, your disability doesn't define you. You aren't a disabled person, you are a fellow human with a disability. In saying that, if this turn of phrase is something that the community feels is offensive, who am i to continue using it (hence the happy and comfortable comment). I am the mother of 2 kids living with disability and the term suffer is one that really riles me, because for my kids (with Autism Spectrum Disorder) they aren't suffering. They are living with it.
Yeah I'm not a fan of suffer either, unless they really are suffering. I too say "living with". Thanks!
I agree with the commenters above talking about "suffer". This is a really good blog post. The context matters, doesn't it? "Fellow human with a disability", thanks, anon. 🙂
For me it's interesting b/c my disability is minor/invisible, so can be passed off as quirkiness unless I disclose it. After disclosing it, a friend told me that it wouldn't be noticed really unless they were a hyper-observant person. That was kind of nice, because – as I straddle the "passing as normal" gap – I worry about how I present myself sometimes. On the other hand…it's a bit confusing, b/c the "passing as normal" thing can also be restrictive at times.
~ myzania15