As the weather gets hotter, the pants get smaller. I was on a tram the other night, it was nearing 40 degrees, and Tash and I were heading to a beachy suburb. I found myself sitting next to a woman who told me ALL her ailments. And then she did a bit of the “those girls are asking for it” commentary about the clothing of some female passengers. I had wished Tash had taken that seat next to me before this excessively talkative woman had. And then I saw what she was referring to. No, I didn’t think these women were “asking for it” – but I did think they had been very economical when they got dressed.
The female passengers wore bikini tops, ovesized singlets and pants that barely covered their arse cheeks. One had miniscule denim shorts on- they’d fit a Barbie doll, the other had bikini bottoms, also riding up her bottom, to hibernate for the summer. The one with bikini bottoms on also wore a life jacket, you know, in case we had to evacuate the tram.
Call me Nanna, call me a little judge-y. Some may call me hypocritical given I’m all about appearance diversity. But I don’t get the no pants/short shorts look. You know, oversized tops worn as dresses, or short shorts like the ones below. Do you?
I feel like some women have forgotten one crucial item of clothing upon getting dressed. I don’t know where to look. I’m not sure whether I’m in the Melbourne CBD or the most matronly dressed in a Mexican beer ad.
Granted, the women’s legs look fantastic when exposed by the no pants/short shorts look. I could never achieve that level of slender with all the sitting I do. And I imagine the landscaping that needs to be done to keep everything tidy is also quite a task. (I’m blessed with hairless everything so if it weren’t for my chub and modesty, I could totally rock the no pants look.)
I did try on some short shorts in New York, but my legs looked like they had increased five sizes. I do own some denim shorts too – and I swear they are the longest denim shorts I’ve ever seen. Are you sitting down? They come down to my mid thigh. The shame!
As a mark of respect to those ladies who don’t wear pants in public, I’m going to spend the afternoon at home not wearing pants either. My undies and an oversized top shall be my only modesty. I guarantee my arse cheeks aren’t quite as perky as the ones above.
So wear what you want, wear what makes you happy and comfortable in. But I still don’t get this trend. A denim wedgie seems uncomfortable.