A little while ago, I asked you what questions you’d like answered. I got some questions on my blog, Instagram and Facebook. Peter, a friend I met on online dating about two years ago asked me this big questions:
“In this day and age, when there are many happy de facto couples, why have you chosen to get married?”
I can’t speak for Adam but I wanted to share my life with someone and have this formally recognised. When Adam asked me to marry him (actually I asked him first – but more on that another time!) I was so excited that we’d be planning this big day and also our lives together.
My parents have been together for 37 years, married for 33 – they’ve done so well together when so many odds were stacked against them at the start of their relationship. They moved countries to marry.
I also love the idea of a wedding – a big party to show our love and to share it with our families and friends. Of course I know that the wedding day is not as important as marriage itself, but as someone who thought I’d never get married, I want the best party, the most beautiful dress and the funnest celebration ever. This wedding planning thing is so exciting, though we are mindful it’s a budget for one day, and not the rest of our lives. On the weekend we set up a high interest joint saver account so we can start saving properly. We don’t want to get into a ridiculous debt for a wedding.
Life with Adam has been great – it’s nearly a year now and I can’t believe the change in me (and him). Who would have thought, hey?!. It’s not without challenges though – I have certainly had to adjust living with someone after living alone for so long. But we’ve kept the same interests, share the bills and have regular date nights. I love cooking for him (not in a subservient way) and he writes me the most romantic cards. It works.
It still surprises me that there was someone out there for me – someone who is so loving, caring and kind. Someone who loves me just like I’ve always dreamed of. Someone that I could give my love to, too.
Sure we could have stayed a defacto. But it feels so much more special to be married. I’m not religious so I am not getting married because of God’s direction. I’m doing it because this feels so very right.
How about you? Married or defacto? Single forever?