Frocktober – am I out of the woods?

Just because I’m cancer free now, it doesn’t mean life has returned to normal. To the way it was before cancer. 

I have so many hangovers from chemotherapy and radiotherapy. 

Some of the symptoms I’ve had since cancer treatment include 

Neuropathy/carpal tunnel syndrome: I had numbness in my fingers and pins and needles from my elbows to hands from about November to August. It eased when I was given anti-depressants to  ease the neuropathy, which helped immediately, though these meds cause nausea.

Neuropathy and carpal tunnel syndrome has now ended – and I know this as I’m coming off my anti-depressants. And  this detox is hard in itself because it’s played with my moods (I cried watching the Great British Sewing Bee) and interrupted my sleep. Such a rollercoaster!

Poo: my poo hasn’t been the same since January 2024. Leading up to the cancer diagnosis, I had constant diarrhoea, needing the toilet frequently and urgently. After surgery and chemo, I had constipation. My lowest moment was calling Nurse On Call while on the toilet. I should have appreciated the diarrhoea more. And since radiotherapy (it was on my pelvis), I often need the  toilet urgently. It’s so inconvenient. 

Fatigue: I get so tired. I was told I’d get tired during radiotherapy. And this has stayed with me. I can only do one or two big things a day. Work and dinner. Pilates and a show. I sleep in a lot. Sometimes on a Sunday, I stay in bed for the whole day. I don’t feel guilty. 

Stiff, sore feet: my feet get hard and I hobble after getting up off the couch – no matter how active I’ve been prior. I’ve heard this might be a menopause symptom. I use a cork ball on my soles to massage them, and this helps a lot. 

Brain fog: this has been present since surgery. It was bad during chemo, and it has set in now, which makes me yearn for times before cancer. Again, I think it’s a menopause thing, from hearing others’ stories. I forget names. I can’t find my words. I have lost the ability to think quickly on my feet, or to carry out a conversation without me losing my train of thought and fishing for words. As a writer and speaker, this is incredibly frustrating. 

Fear of recurrence: although the regular blood tests are reassuring, I worry about recurrence. Ovarian Cancer has such a scary survival rate. The Peter Mac states “The current average five-year survival rate for women diagnosed with ovarian cancer is just 49 per cent, and this drops to 29 per cent for women diagnosed at an advanced stage.” (https://www.petermac.org/about-us/news-and-events/news/details/ocrf-grants-to-drive-next-gen-ovarian-cancer-breakthroughs) This is always on my mind, no matter how much positive thinking. I have never worried I won’t grow old because of ichthyosis, but I always worry that I won’t see 50 because of Ovarian Cancer. 

Donate to my Frocktober campaign – (link in profile). Thank you.

Images: 1-3. Carly, wearing a metallic purple dress and purple boots sitting on a pew in a hallway. 4. Carly standing up, a metallic teal coat is over her dress. Music is Taylor Swift’s Out of the Woods. Lyrics are “you were looking at me – are you out of the woods yet….”