It’s Face Equality Week and the theme is Seen and Served – ensuring people with a facial difference are treated with dignity and respect in retail and hospitality settings.
Today I’m focusing on hospitality settings – restaurants, cafes, bars, hotels and live music venues.
There have been times when I’ve been to restaurants and staff have seated me facing away from the window or the other diners – so my face doesn’t put them off their dinner. (However, sometimes I make a choice to sit away from other diners if it means I’ll avoid their stares and comments.)
Staff have also spoken to whomever I’ve been with, rather than asking me for my order – assuming I can’t communicate. And other patrons have also disrespected me in these bars and music venues – and the venue staff do not know what to do, because perhaps they can’t detect ableism or appearance based discrimination, or it isn’t regarded in the same way as sexual harassment.
Here are ways hospitality staff can be more welcoming and respectful of people with facial differences:
Look at us. Smile. Don’t look away.
Don’t ignore us or pretend we aren’t there.
Don’t seat us away from other diners on purpose.
Don’t be scared to touch us when we exchange money.
Don’t ask questions about our appearance like “what happened to you?”, “are you sunburnt?” or give unsolicited advice like “have you tried X treatment?”.
Ask if we have dietary requirements or any other access needs – but don’t make assumptions based on how we look. For example – our preference to drink alcohol, that we are intoxicated because of how we look and speak, or that we’d prefer the cheaper option on the menu as we might not be able to afford it.
Treat us like you’d treat any other customer – ask how you can help us, take our orders.
Don’t whisper and snigger behind our backs.
Respond to any complaints made, and don’t get defensive when we speak up if we have been treated badly.
Recognise what discrimination looks I’ll by following people with facial differences on social media.
Check out the Face Equality International website for great resources about how to engage with people with facial differences, and sign the Seen and Served pledge.
Remember that your job as retail staff is to serve us in a store, not to know our diagnoses, medical history or offer unwanted advice.
I’m pictured here eating at my favourite Melbourne restaurant – Chocolate Buddha. I’m always treated so well there, and it’s accessible for disabled diners too. They’ve signed the Face Equality pledge, which makes me so happy.
Image: Carly, a woman with red skin and short dark curly hair wearing a green dress and a gold jacket, sitting at a restaurant table. In front of her is Japanese food – tofu and sashimi. She’s smiling.
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